The DeBriefing

by Jb

"I don't think I've ever seen anything like that before." Daniel reached out and tentatively poked at the upright-egg-shaped object which sat in the middle of the metal lab table. He draped himself across the table, bending as far forward as the edge would allow, leaning on his forearms. "I'm not entirely certain, the symbols are so tiny, but the inscription appears to be similar to the Goa'uld dialect we… Teal'c, what do you see here? What does it look like to you?"

"It appears to be a relatively smooth slightly oval object, Daniel Jackson."

No, no. Not the egg itself… Daniel craned his head around to look at Teal'c, to explain that it was the nature of the symbols on the egg which he was asking about. The words never left his mouth. Teal'c's outward expression was as implacably neutral as usual, however one look at the barely contained grin playing at the corners of Jack's mouth told him that he'd probably missed some subtle nuance. What? He twisted his torso slightly to get a better look at the two men who stood directly behind him. Teal'c was looking in an entirely different place. So was Jack, and just as the stifled grin changed into an outright smirk Daniel realized that they were making fun of him. His gloomy mood of the last several days flared into outright irritation and he straightened abruptly, tugging his jacket back down over his rear.

"Ahh. You meant the other thing sticking up from the table? That thing there. Well, what do you think, Teal'c?" Jack raised his eyebrows at Teal'c, the smirk still firmly in place. "It's not quite as, ah, robust, but I think I'd go for object number two."

"Yes. I see it now. It also appears to be a relatively smooth slightly oval object, O'Neill."

That he'd been in the way, concealing the egg from their view by virtue of practically laying on top of the thing with his butt sticking out not one foot in front of where they stood, was not nearly sufficient excuse for such juvenile behavior. Didn't they know this was serious? It was probably – well, they'd need to test it to be sure but hey you never know – made of naquada, and the presence of symbols which appeared to be of an obscure Goa'uld dialect clinched it. This was Goa'uld technology. God knows what secrets it held. Maybe it would contribute to his search for Kheb…

"Hey, Daniel, it was just a joke. Lighten up." At Jack's words, Daniel made an effort to erase the displeasure from his face. Not that he wasn't still a bit annoyed. Jack leaned around as if to look behind Daniel, casting a falsely studious look at his nether region. "Yup, for sure. Lighten up." Okay. So more than just a little bit annoyed. He bit his tongue, knowing only too well that the only way he'd likely get anything worthwhile accomplished here was to simply try to ignore Jack's irreverent form of assistance.

Teal'c leaned forward to get a better look at the object. He narrowed his eyes slightly. "I believe I know what this is. It appears to be an old style of laboratory receptacle. Most commonly used as a container for chemicals."

Oh. Was that all. Disappointment welled up, and Daniel didn't even bother to suppress his sigh as he turned away from the egg. When SG8 had brought it back this morning, he'd really hoped it would be something significant, some sort of technology which would give them a much needed boost. Over the last week, since Netu – since Apophis – he'd begun to think that they'd never be able to keep a step ahead of the damned Goa'uld. God, he hated Apophis. He leaned his butt up against the edge of the table, staring off at the far wall and only half-listening to Jack and Teal'c as they discussed, uh… what? It what? It opens, how? Did Teal'c just say what he thought he'd said? That he knew how to open it? Okay, so Teal'c thought it was a lab container, but what if he was wrong? What if… what if there was something inside there… something wonderful…

Just as he whirled and scooped up the egg, Sam walked into the lab with the x-ray film of the object. "Wait, Daniel… maybe you shouldn't touch that thing…"

"Why? I've got gloves on." He held it up in front of him. "Sam! Teal'c says it's a container, and he knows how to open it. It could have something…"

"It does have something inside it." She held up one of the sheets of film. "It looks like some sort of powder. Sequential shots show that it's granular and it moves within the container like a powder would. It's either some sort of residue, or possibly a chemical of some sort."

Oh. Powder. Well, it was unlikely to hold the secrets of the universe, then. But still, why shouldn't he touch it? All the more reason why it should be okay. It's not like it would shoot big metal rods into him or anything. And SG8 had touched it; hell, they'd carried it in their bare hands. It was just an alien version of a crummy old bottle, that's all. "Well, that's seems harmless enough then, Sam. Why can't we just take the top off ?"

Jack stepped forward. "Because, Daniel. For all we know, it's the Goa'uld equivalent of flash powder, and your incandescent intelligence will ignite it. Just… put it down."

Oh, yeah. More than just a little bit annoyed. But… oh, hell, Jack was right. This stuff could be something poisonous, or… something. He'd been stupid. He still had that damned post-Netu headache and for days now he'd been impatient, disillusioned, and generally pretty foul-tempered. Lighten up was right. Okay, well, he'd try. He might even be able to bring himself to smile at one of Jack's stupid little… err, erudite witticisms – if he really tried.

It occurred to him that they were in the HazMat lab, so why not use the facilities available and see just what this stuff was? Daniel gripped the egg firmly and took several long strides toward the isolation chamber. Several strides was as far as he got, because Teal'c was suddenly right in front of him and both Sam and Jack stepped in on each side of him. Their hands clamped onto both his upper arms and he turned his head in surprise to be met with a stern look from Jack. Oh. Guess it might have been a good idea to explain to them just where he was heading with the thing. "Jack… no, see, I was… ah…"

"Look, I know you've been a bit distracted lately, but come on, Daniel. Grab a brain here." Jack forcefully plucked the egg out of his hands. A little too forcefully, given that Daniel was only too willing to let go it. The momentum carried the movement well beyond horizontal into violently-tipping-forward-falling-over, and with a slight click and then a louder clack, the entire top one-third of the egg simply… fell off. The powder positively leapt from the tipped container, coating the right hip area of Teal'c's pants in a sparkling, almost entrancing, film of pale blue. Immediately, there was a crackling noise, interspersed with low sizzles and pops. And immediately after that, as a luminous glow began to spread outward in all directions from the original point of contact, Teal'c's pants began to… disintegrate. Fairly, uh, no… quite, rapidly.

"Holy hannah!" Sam released Daniel's arm and lunged toward the large lab sink. Frantically, she began uncoiling a large bore rubber hose and attaching it to the end of the tap.

"Daniel!" Jack's voice raged in his ear.

"Hey… I didn't… it was you that…" Oh, never mind. It wasn't important. Teal'c was the only important consideration here. Daniel went to take a step forward to somehow try to help Teal'c but in a sudden, convulsive movement the Jaffa turned his back to them.

In a flash, Jack left Daniel's side and was at Teal'c's, his hands on the big man's shoulders and his mouth moving rapidly as he encouraged Sam to hurry it up with the water. Teal'c stood uncharacteristically hunched over, his hands in front of him and his shoulders rounded. From Daniel's view from behind, it seemed that the Jaffa must be in pain. God! The stuff was literally eating the fabric – what could it be doing to Teal'c? Fear was well and truly setting in, just as Sam turned on the tap and directed the hose at their friend. A jet of water arched across the distance and hit Teal'c, with a great splash and splatter, just to the rear of his left hip.

Daniel's eyes felt like they'd pop out of his head. He hollered at Sam to turn it down, to lower the water pressure, as he watched the water rip away the remaining fabric in large chunks. Then he noticed that the bluish glow had not been affected. It continued to spread outwards – and, inwards. God… he watched as in a split second, Teal'c's regulation boxers glowed slightly and then, with the force of the water, simply eroded away. To reveal brown skin quickly becoming mottled with that strange blue colour. Oh, no! He found himself shouting, "Teal'c! Are you all right?"

Jack voice, yelling at him, "Well, what does it look like to you, Daniel!" was immediately followed by Teal'c's own.

"It is all right, Daniel Jackson, O'Neill. I am painfree and uninjured. There does not appear to be any tissue damage." Teal'c turned his head, revealing his profile to Daniel.

Daniel stared, not comprehending at all why Teal'c was smiling. Okay, so it wasn't a face-breaker, but it was a Teal'c smile, anyway. It suddenly sank in that despite the residue of the blue powder on his skin, Teal'c was fine. He was just fine. Relief flooded through him and without even thinking, he found himself answering Jack's question.

"Ahh, well, it looks like a relatively smooth slightly oval object, Jack." He groaned. Oh nooo. He really hadn't meant to say that.

Teal'c's shoulders moved back and forth ever so slightly. Sam stared at him. Jack… well, Jack simply motioned to Sam, something Daniel didn't quite catch – an obscure military handsignal he didn't understand, no doubt.

A second later, he understood all too well as the incredibly sharp jet of cold water found the bull's-eye with problem whatsoever.

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